The White Field

Do you not say, "There are yet four months, then comes the harvest"? Look, I tell you, lift up you eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest. Already the one who reaps is receiving wages and gathering fruit for eternal life, so that sower and reaper may rejoice together... I sent you to reap that for which you did not labor. John 4:35-36, 38b

My heart is challenged to lay old of this word. Something groaned, twisted, pounded on my heart when I read this verse. I had been saying since a few months back that, "It is time. It is time. We have reached God's appointed time." The stirring in my spirit confirms it. The circumstances are very encouraging, even miraculous at times, but there is still that part of me that whispers under its breath, while hoping no one would hear its cowardice, "It's just too good to be true. Is there a catch? Do I have what it takes to flow with what God is doing?" To say I am overwhelmed would be an understatement. I gasp at the sense of amazement. And I am scared, freaking scared at the awesomeness of what God is speaking, and the irony of a sense of rawness in my preparation. At this point in my life, I still manage to get myself into the mess of neglected priorities, nagging addictions, ungodly self centerdness, inconsistent performance, even to the point where I'm embarrassed to admit the fruits of the above reflected in my work, walk, and witness. At this point of crucial undertakings, what am I doing, suddenly losing the discipline I had worked hard for? But God, is He not wise that He in advance had already perceived these struggles I would have? But God, He could not be trying to push something that He is having second thoughts toward, right? He is not man that He should feel pressured to push through against favorable conditions? He is the unchallenged sovereign of the universe and He has always chosen to use the foolish things of this world. His plans have craftiness that is beyond our wisdom and years on Earth as humanity. I must concede to His will. To His desire to do it now. And to His choice to use me for this great disruption in history. In the end, it's not about me and my inadequacies and doubts. It's time to let Him tell us what it's all about. It's about His glory.

shifting the atmosphere

All rights reserved by johndman

it’s our third time to meet for prayer in Ateneo. i brought my guitar. i felt led to release a God’s presence through worship and declaration of God’s lordship. we sang Lord I Lift…, Here I Am to Worship, and How He Loves Us.

By the way, there were just two of us, Jev and me. I didn’t really have a line up. lol. After the second song, I suddenly felt led to sing How He Loves Us. I learned later that Jev wanted to suggest to me to sing it. We were seated at a bench along Kostka hallway. Since there were no classes today, people passing by was scarce. I felt the anointing on the song. We were singing softly because it was a public place. But inside me and through the song’s words and melodies, I felt the Holy Spirit come with an abundance of LOVE for the university’s students, teachers, employees… Oh how HE loves us and them! Oh how He wants to touch them! Oh how He is so ready to come! I was on the verge of tears but I wanted to laugh at the same time. I sniffed a bit. We were along the hallway. God’s love was thick and surrounded us. We were changing the atmosphere. I believe it with all my heart. We’re ready for more. Holy Spirit, bring it on…

Divine Connections pt.1

When God gives us a sneak peek of what is to come, we don't clearly know what He wants us to do. Sometimes we think it's for a simple reason but when things unravel, there comes a realization that He's got you in His big heart and He's planning something great for you. He works out every little detail for you--that's just how much He loves you. :-)

Flashback: August.

Ivane told me there's this girl who really, really, really, really wanted to see the documentary film 1040 and listen to Jaeson Ma speak. This girl, according to her, was planning to bring dozens of her churchmates and orgmates to the screening. In my head, I was like, "Whoa, that girl's driven! She'd do that for us?" And this girl, according to her, was an intercessor and a missionary. Okay. Talk about finding our person of peace from outside our little Core circles.

Weeks before the screening, Ivane was telling me that this girl and her friend are willing to inform JRev (I heart them!) of their desire to go to the screening even if it's the same day as their monthly gathering. Wow. Talk about passion.

In my mind I was thanking God for the wonderful people He's sending our team. During those days we really needed outside encouragement and if it wasn't for God's grace, we might've strangled each other from all the stress. The whole event was a battle. It felt like a battle. Even in my sleep, I was in battle. Everywhere, my spirit's in battle. But with every attack, my heart cries and screams out to God for Him to win this for me, for us, for the people who might need the movie. So having Ivane's friend help us in that aspect, even if we haven't seen her gave us great joy.

One day, while we were meeting, Ivane was still updating me about this girl and God stirred up in my heart to do everything to meet her. In the middle of the meeting I told Ivane to tell this girl to attend the volunteers' orientation. "Just tell her to come. She gave us more than what we have been asking for and I just want to see her! Just tell her! Please, please, please! Tell her also to come early so she can meet Jaeson and the rest of the team!"

When I logged on to Twitter, I found her account and followed her. Days following that, I added her up on Facebook and I saw that we went to the same university! When I told my Dad about this, he just said,

"Magsimula na ng Bible study. Nagpapadala na ang Diyos ng mga tao. Tumulong ka kaya? 'Wag ka nang magdalawang-isip." ["Start a Bible study there. God's sending people. Why don't you help out? Don't even think twice."]

I told him, "Dad are you serious?" And just like the martial arts master that he is, he just stared at me and said with his eyes. "I don't kid around, child!"

So I thought of his suggestion but I did not take any action.

Okay. Sorry for my crazy storytelling skills! I'll start on part 2 soon!

Love. Peace.Happiness. In Christ, Jev. :-)

the lunch meeting

September 3, 2010

I am meeting Jev today at 11AM. I could not help but remember how long I have waited for this day. Seven years ago, as a half-clueless teenager, I asked God for a word for my university. I wasn’t so sure God had nice plan for my college campus but I just was not sure what it was and when it will happen.  One thing I know though was that if I desired it, God would give me word, and that God would share to me His heart for my school.

I didn’t want just another ministry. I wanted the fire of God, Holy Spirit visitations, radical encounters. I wanted something that when it came, everyone will know the God is god as He displays who He is and crowds get drawn to an undeniable manifestation of His loving presence.

God did give me a word years ago but nothing in the physical materialized. I kept praying and asking God what He wanted me to do. Even after college, though there was practically every reason to just let go and give up the vision, God had me hold on. Until this faithful day.

Somehow it now pleased God to tell me that it is TIME. For years I, together with some young people have prayed and waited, even gotten frustrated at the absence the radical things we were hoping for. But see after seven years, He now hands us a blueprint that has long been burning in his heart. Why just now, there could be a dozen reasons. But I am just happy that I could finally begin to taste the fruits of heaven opening upon us and just reviving that hope deferred for so long.

Jev is also an alumni of my university. She asked me days ago if I have a ministry in Ateneo. I said, “I have been wanting to but unfortunately, no I do not. Would you like to start one with me?” I just typed that on twitter in a matter of a few seconds. I didn’t even think twice, I just knew this was something that’s not a coincidence but a “finally” that God is beginning to put on to my lap. She said she was so moved and set on fire by the vision of a book titled Blueprint and that she felt she had to do something for Ateneo. I said, let’s do it. We set this day to meet.

I woke up 5:05 AM this morning and thoughts were rushing through my mind. God had been speaking again even while I’m still asleep! I knew He said something like, this vision is not just for two but for many… It is a generation that he is calling to this. He is stirring up young people and they are beginning to get hungry for God. The time is ripe. You will find them with the same heart and you will see my move in an unprecedented way.

I got up 5:06 AM fully awake. I thought maybe I’d write a blog expressing my thankfulness for this day but instead I knelt down, face against my pillow and began to weep. I got blown away by the first two sentences I read yesterday from the foreword of Blueprint. I could hardly go on but later I finally managed to read a paragraph (not getting blown away). This morning I just know that something broke yesterday right there while I was on the jeepney. The same anointing that fell had stayed with me and I could still feel it until now. The first two lines by Lou Engle were:

“As I write this foreword, tears run down my face. I am praying and believing for such a revival to sweep our nation that homosexuals by the thousands could be transformed.”

After reading the first sentence, I just remembered all of a sudden, the tears I have shed asking God for revival. After I read the second line, my heart just wants to explode because I felt the very thing that God placed inside me was finally coming to life with the hope these words gave. To think that the same reason why we have been praying was the reason too that this book was written, It was was as if the Holy Spirit was saying, “This is you ticket to the dream. And it’s real. And it’s in your hands now (literally not figuratively)” And then I just had this sense in my imagination of things coming to pass even as the Holy Spirit had really chosen this time and season to break out in our campus. I just knew it so.

I believe it was not a coincidence that I prayed just last night (via chat) with my prayer partner in the prayer group we used to have in Ateneo. Years ago, God has instructed us to pray and we did just that. We sowed seeds there and we knew God was going to do something really big. Last night, we just had a chance to bless each other by prophesying to one another. It was as if she was releasing me to receive the fruits of our labor during those days of hiddenness in prayer. It was as if the Holy Spirit was saying, “Here we finally go… from that season into this… I am transitioning you.”
All glory to God.